Letter to self

Dear Self,

Why don't you ever stay on schedule with my schedule? Why is it that when I need to go to sleep you want to stay up and when I need to get up you want to sleep? We have been doing this same job for five years now, you should be used to it by now... I mean really, it should not be this hard to come to an agreement. I have tried to compromise with you, I give an hour here and you make me feel like crap in the morning. I take an hour there and you STILL make me feel like crap in the morning. Why do you hate me so? I understand you might resent me a little, I have used and abused you, but not too much right? I mean, a few piercings, some tattoos, lots of Red Bull, but hey, I give you healthy foods, vitamins and exercise... that is a fair exchange right? We need to work on this. Is there a return policy on you...me? This is your warning, you better start compromising more or I am getting my money back...