Re-Inventing the wheel, amongst other things...

I don't know if anyone ever noticed, but I have been, well, you could say "out of the loop" for a while. While I have been in the same physical place (except for a few absences home and for training) my mind has been to what feels like the ends of the universe and back, multiple times... Working through the emotional and mental Olympics of the holidays while going through a separation/divorce and trying to help guide my siblings along a life path that doesn't end in drug addiction and jail, I wish that I could say life has been quite swell. It hasn't, but I believe that since I am here, that is changing. I am finally coming back to one of the things I truly love, which is right here writing for me, well I guess and you too (maybe). Hopefully on a more routine basis, and content ripe with, well something interesting to keep me here (and yes to keep you here as well). Ok, now that the cliche "I'm back" intro is over, maybe we can move on to some more interesting (if not well written) topics...


I have to say that what really brings me back is that feeling of seeking a reconnection with one's own self. When, for all of life's twists, turns, ups and downs, you know you need to, should we say, get back to the basics. Looking back and asking, how did I get here, in this place, feeling like this. When that urge to pick back up and set all the world right again comes along. The only problem with such feelings is just that, they are feelings, which as in their nature, tend to come and go. I do believe that this surge of... (liveliness, spirit, vitality, zeal?) that I have seems more permanent this time. I think this partially because, I am still having this feeling right now, while my throat is swollen most of the way shut, my stomach roils from the medley of pills (to stop the said swelling of throat), still having to be at work through both of those, and my never quite knowing what is going on in my love life, or lack thereof. I still feel this... energy, as if it begs for release, if but I could find the correct form to let it out in. I think this is that form, although it may need multiple ways out before it is exhausted, I know no such answers as of yet. There have been many thoughts, ideas, and problems that have plagued my measly brain for release into this keyboard. I hope that I can only maintain my grasp on them until the time comes when I can let them flow forth unto you, but there is one that is over powering all others, and it must come first. It will come first, although not right now. Maybe later today, we shall see. Till we meet again...