Sunday, December 12, 2010

To recreate one's own work?

I was writing an email to the pretty much only person I ever write emails to anymore and something came up. We have this thing going back and forth where we put a quote in the subject line(well mostly her, since most of my subjects start with Re:). I decided to do my occasional (maybe very occasional?) input into the little quirk by looking up a quote to put in. I came across this quote that struck me like, as my friend used to say, a sucker punch right to the brain...

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
~Edna St Vincent Millay


The reason it struck me so, was because I wrote a poem in high school that was quite similar to this quote. I had never seen this quote before tonight, but still, it instantly made me picture sitting at my too small school desk in English III with the teacher reading over my shoulder and telling me it was very good, but I just thought good, now I don't have to write any more. I used to hate writing with a passion when I was in high school, oh sweet irony, you kill me every time...

Anyways, the whole point was that I was pondering, really juggling the idea wondering if I would drop it before I acted on it. The thought was that since I no longer have that poem, and it was really very good, should I try to recreate it? Does anything ever turn out as good as the original when we are trying to remake something that has already been done? I mean, when you write that three page email and you hit send only to see an error and everything lost... When you go back and write again, it seems like you can never get it just right, not quite what it was the first time. Would recreating a poem be the same? I am not in the same mood I was then, in the moment where those words just seemed to flow forth from my pencil. Would it be more of a dishonor to the memory of the poem and feelings to try and make what would surely be a cheap copy? I don't know, but writing this it sounds as if I am talking myself out of it... Maybe this is more of a wake up call that I should taking to writing new poems, or other such projects so that I don't feel so nostalgic about the few good things I did and have now lost... Hmmm... all thoughts only lead to more and more possibilities in an ever more twisting and chaotic line of thought that seems more to jump from place to place rather than flow from one thought to the next...

One other thing, although it has nothing to do with anything at all here... I really want to see if there is a cd or something of that guy who used to do the "And now you know, the rest of the story" on the radio... I want to hear all of the stories....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love and miss you so much. There are days where I still find myself waiting for an email to pop up from you. It's hard to believe that with it being over ten months since I received that very last email from you. I miss waking up every morning having an email from you waiting on me. I love and miss you always

 


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