Robotics

Have you ever stopped to think, and wonder what your life is actually about? I have had this thought recently, and recently means this morning. What is my life? I wake up five days a week and go to work, I come home and maybe make dinner for myself...maybe not. I do the same thing everyday with no major changes in sight for my future. Do I want to do this for the rest of my life? I used to think so...but maybe I don't. What other possibilities for my life are there? Am I living my life to the fullest? I would dare to say that I am not, and I could, do, accomplish, and enjoy so much more of what is out there. Am I a pre-programmed robot running my daily protocol for no other reason than that is what I am supposed to do. Sometimes I forget what it would be like to be able to decide, I don't want to shave today or I want my hair to be neon green or I want to wear a blue shirt. Does that mean I am slowly losing myself to this repititious cycle or is it that I just don't live like I have something to for? Has my dream of a career changed so drastically and yet so subtly that I slowly began to wonder why I am even here anymore? Do I just need to throw a wrench in the machine to change it up or take a break to see if I can even enjoy myself once again. And what about a partner? Does that relationship get doomed to the same fate of growing old and boring and tired of one another? How can you keep yourself interested in another person for so long? These are all questions I ponder in my hours of idle sleeplessness when my brain says I should be out of bed but my body just doesn't seem to agree. Maybe I will just have to go find a big wrench to change things up, or a new relationship that will give my life a spark to start the fire that burned out with me never noticing until it was all blackness. One last flitting thought, am I alone in this questioning of myself and my life or do other souls out there, such as your own, wonder how you have gotten to this place of monotony and well....and nothing.